St. Donatus Day

Feast Day. Ray Vecchio strolled through the streets of Little Italy holding the hand of his ten-year-old niece Rosanna.  Benny carried baby Marissa.  Just moments ago, Ray had seen Tony and Maria strolling ahead of them, hand in hand, utterly relaxed for a change.  Donny, and Raphy, at ages eleven and thirteen, were old enough to be on their own.  They were running around the St. Donatus Day Festival with some of the boys from the neighborhood.

It was a steamy August afternoon, and everybody was running around in shorts.  There were balloons, banners, and ribbons everywhere.

The St. Donatus processional had streamed by them moments before, St. Donatus nearly invisible underneath the money pinned to him.  Ray was responsible for quite a few of those bills himself.  He glanced at Benny, over to his right.  Benny moved the squirming two-year-old from one hip to another without breaking stride.

Ray felt he owed a bit of debt to St. Donatus; he had watched over him and Benny.  Ray had been attending the mass and carnival his entire life, and he had taken Benny once, back in ’97.  Benny had accompanied all the Vecchios to church, and to the carnival, and to the huge dinner at the house afterwards.  It was a better dinner than Thanksgiving. 

Ray had thought that it might be his last feast for a while.  He had been asked by the FBI to go to Vegas impersonate a made guy.  They’d given him the weekend to think about it.

That feast day was a lot like this one; hot, muggy.  Someone even opened up a fire hydrant and the kids had a blast running through the water.  He, Benny, and Dief, ran through it too.  It felt good.  They walked back to the house dripping wet; they didn’t care.  Like two small boys, they raced each other the last two blocks.  Benny won, no contest, Dief right beside him.  Benny ran up the front steps, and waited on the front porch for Ray to catch up.  On the front sidewalk, Ray tripped and fell.

Instead of hearing some call of concern from his friend, Ray heard peals of belly laughter.  Ray clambered to his feet, embarrassed.  Benny stood there panting, laughing, looking so young, and so happy.  Ray realized that he very seldom saw Benny like this, so…uninhibited.  Just Benny himself, no Mr. Polite, Mr. Mountie, Mr. Good Citizen. 

If Ray had to pinpoint a moment that he realized he was in love with Benton Fraser, that moment would have been it.  Just Benny, standing there in wet shorts and T-shirt, and blue canvas tennis shoes, laughing, with wet curly rings plastered to his scalp.

“I’m sore-ey, Ray!” he gasped.  He stepped from the porch.  “You should have seen the expression on your face! Are you all right?” Benny wiped his eyes, walking toward Ray, and gently turned his friend’s palms, checking for scrapes and finding none.

“Yeah, yeah,” Ray muttered, crossly, enjoying the feel of Benny’s hands on his, despite the circumstances.  He hated to lose his cool.  But that was actually worth it. Seeing Benny laughing like that. 

That night, when Ray drove his exhausted friend home, he felt a pain in his gut at the thought of leaving him behind. Benny needed him. 

When he got back in his car, Ray felt conflicted.  He was intrigued by the undercover job.  He’d be another Donnie Brasco maybe.  He liked the idea of the prestige it would bring him later, liked the idea of having access to a million dollar expense account while in Vegas, and a huge mansion with household servants at his every beck and call.  He’d be relatively safe while ‘out in the cold’, as long as he kept his wits about him.

Ray spoke out loud to St. Donatus as he pulled out into the thinned nighttime traffic, and asked him for a sign.  Should he stay, or should he go?  Ray could write his own ticket when he returned from his job.  He could have whatever assignment he wanted, maybe even a promotion.  But leaving meant leaving Benny. 

Ray hit every single red light from Benny’s place to his.  There were twenty-one of them.  That had never, ever happened before.  So Ray had his sign. Stay.

Three months later, after he and Benny kissed that first time and he saw stars, he knew St. Donatus sent him the right advice.  And now they lived together on the street named after him.  Nothing could have been more perfect.

Today, and every St. Donatus Day since that one, Ray had sent a special thank you to the saint.  He knelt in the pew beside his mother and his love.  Ray lifted his head from prayer and looked around him at the bowed heads, counting the number of people he knew.  He shared a pew with him Francesca, Tony, Maria, Ma, Raphy, Donny, and Maria’s girls.  Two rows in front of him was Joey Paducci and his wife Rita.  Across the aisle from him was their friend Walter Sparks and his father.  Ann-Marie Zuko was there, with her young siblings.  He saw Pop’s old friend and Benny’s barber Burt on the way in.  They saw Mr. Garrett there too, back in the corner.

Beside Frannie was her new best friend Mac who was neither Italian nor Catholic but wanted the experience of a big Catholic mass and feast.  Next to Mac was Ursula and that crazy Ren Turnbull, who were now dating, which Ray still hadn’t gotten used to.  And Turnbull didn’t even have a tattoo or own a Harley, which Ray thought was a prerequisite of Ursula’s.  Go figure.  Even Benny’s friends Hugh and John attended the carnival. Ray was surprised.  He didn’t think the hippie types went in for religious-centered events.

At the carnival, Ray and Benny had run into Vinnie Russo also, and some of the other guys from the Y, and  Micky Doyle, Elaine and Ike, Jack and Jan, Ange and her husband, and a half dozen other friends, co-workers and acquaintances.  Yep.  He was a pretty lucky guy, having so many good people in his life, and Benny at the center of his universe.

On Benny’s hip, the baby suddenly giggled.  Ray glanced over.  Benny was making The Puffin Face. Marissa laughed again. Benny beamed at her.  Happy.  Uninhibited. 

“Hey you,” Ray called softly, voice pitched so that only Benny would hear.  He momentarily let go of his niece’s sweaty little hand to move closer to Benny.  “Did I tell you that I loved you today?”

Benny shook his head.

“Well, I do, you know.”

“And I love you more, Ray.”

The baby reached out and touched Ray’s prominent nose.  Both men smiled.