Benny and Ray 26

The Departed

From the Journal of Benton Fraser

 

 

 

Friday

30 April 1999

22:00

 

Today I hosted a small gathering at the consulate in honor of Meg Thatcher’s last day with us. Although she claimed that she did not want to “make a fuss” about her departure, I felt it would not have been right to casually send her off as though she meant nothing to any of us, me especially.  After all, we had made a connection once, a long time ago, on top of a speeding train.  It seemed like a lifetime ago, and yet it had happened. 

 

Occasionally, I wonder what it would have been like if the two of us had taken that kiss further.  But it is not as though I have any regrets that it ended there. I have this persistent idea that ultimately, she would have hurt me, badly, if we had fallen into a relationship.  And yet I had been physically drawn to her even so.

 

She would have been another Victoria.  I am not certain why I have the misfortune of being drawn to barbed women.  Perhaps the same reason so often women are drawn to the “bad boy”; we think we can change them.  But in the end, we are the one changed, usually irreparably damaged.

 

At 16:00 today, Ray, at my behest, came by with a coconut cake fresh from Roosevelt Bakery, gelato, and champagne, and we had a small going-away party.

 

Ovitz was leaving as well, hand-selected to be the new Commissioner’s personal assistant, thanks to the glowing review written by Meg.  And I was the new Chief Liaison Officer for the Canadian Consulate, Chicago office.

 

 Last week, we were sent my new deputy, Melissa MacGregor, born and raised in Flin Flon Manitoba, where I had once spent some thirteen months patrolling.  Mac, as she prefers to be called, said that she remembered meeting me in the spring of 1985.  I spoke to her senior class on career day, and it was because of me that she joined the RCMP.   Fourteen years later, hoping to expand her horizons beyond little Flin Flon, she saw a job posting for the Chicago Consulate, headed by one Benton Fraser, and knew that fate was at work again. 

 

Mac reminded me of myself, and I imagine I looked, upon arrival into the big city, much how she looked; doe-eyed and a little frightened.  She is a petite lady with a mop of curly auburn hair. She is very likeable indeed, with a pleasant and professional manner. Her family history is similar to mine; her people were from Glasgow, and they had immigrated to Canada at the turn of the century, settling into the vast lands between Lake Manitoba and Lake Winnipeg to make a living hunting and trapping.  She is an only child, and her grandmother was Inuit. Naturally, I was captivated by tales of her childhood experiences with her grandmother, and the two of us bonded instantly.

 

Even Ray liked her upon first meeting her, which was unusual, because Ray is always wary of any females close to me.  He even helped her find a small apartment in University Village, under the pretense that she not “make the same stupid mistake that Benny did” by choosing a substandard apartment in an undesirable neighborhood. There was something vaguely reminiscent of Francesca about her, which I believe Ray picked up on. With Mac, Ray fell into the protective older brother role that he so excelled in.  Although he never verbalizes it, Ray misses his little sister.  He calls her several times a week, and sent her a large sum of money for her birthday.

 

And I believe that Francesca misses Ray and the rest of her family as well.  Several day ago, I called her without Ray’s knowledge. Her cheerful voice sounded forced, but she maintained that she was happy, and was enjoying her new hometown and her new husband.  He had immersed himself in English, and she had even learned a few sentences in German.

 

Quite by accident, I was the person who first informed Francesca of Maria’s pregnancy.  Maria is expecting another child on the first of November. She expressed some sadness that she was missing out on Maria’s pregnancy first hand, and promised to visit at her soonest opportunity.  She asked for updates on all the children, even though I’m sure it had only been a few days since Ray updated her.  I told her that Paul was excelling on the baseball team this year; that Rosanna was enjoying being a Brownie, and that Raphy had won the seventh grade spelling bee last week. And naturally, they missed their aunt very much.  I urged Francesca to call Maria immediately; I was sure she would love to hear from her.

 

I am looking forward to a full weekend.  Ray, with Valerie, is taking Paul, David, and Raphy to a Cubs game tomorrow while I spend the day in the office, and Sunday afternoon, Ray and I are treating Elaine and her new fiancé Ike to see a ‘Rufus and Chaka Khan’ reunion concert. Elaine and Ike are getting married the evening of 6 August, on a bluff overlooking the Mississippi River. Happily, Ray and I will be in attendance.  I feel honored that she has included me in her planning.  I was with her and her sister Francine when she found her wedding gown. Her dress is of the most opulent cream silk, and her wedding reception tent was to be lit by hundreds of cream candles; it is going to be lovely.

 

The morning after Elaine’s wedding, Ray and I are bound for Yellowknife for two weeks of holiday, and my freshman year of college will begin a week after our return. I am terribly excited, and have chosen to get a degree in Social Science.  It was an agonizing decision, as there were no less than a half a dozen possible courses of study that I would have been very happy with.  I am tempted to pursue a minor, either in music theory, or in visual art; we shall see.

 

I had best be getting to sleep.  Ray fell asleep two hours ago; he and his partner Doyle have been driving hard all week, and Ray’s lack of sleep had finally caught up to him.    Tomorrow morning, he is going to have the opportunity to sleep late.  I had planned on going down to the office at 06:00 to get my new office and files in order.  I was going to rearrange the furniture and purge old files and set up new ones.  I had a cleaning crew coming in at 09:00 to thoroughly clean every room and every surface; I have my white gloves ready.  I also want to review in detail the applications for my new administrative assistant. 

 

Monday morning would find a brand new Canadian Consulate, thoroughly cleansed, newly staffed, and with a “kindler, gentler” attitude.  After initially being nervous of my increased responsibilities, I am now relishing the idea of running the Consulate.  I had already begun to take notes on some initiatives I wanted to implement, such as more active community outreach. Although we are representatives of the Canadian government, we are certainly willing to assist all in the city in which we cohabitate. I find it unconscionable to be aware of poverty, crime and drug abuse and not take steps to correct these social ills. In digging into the S.O.P books in Meg’s office, I found that there is a budget in place for making charitable donations to various local charities, such as the Boys’ and Girls’ Clubs, and many after-school and preventative programs.  There is currently twenty-thousand dollars in our charity fund; five thousand for each of the fiscal years that Meg had been in Chicago.  She had not donated a dime.

 

 I also wanted to promote more Canadian tourism in America; although Canada is a very accessible and inexpensive tourist destination, many Americans do not even consider vacationing there, preferring instead to travel to Europe.  I hope to rectify that.

 

So many changes. So much to do.  I feel a little overwhelmed some days. Right now, I must sleep, excited as I am.  I think I shall take Dief on a short run tonight, so that I can burn off a little energy before joining my lover in slumber.